When NOT to raise your child bilingual

As a bilingual mom and language lover, I’m quite the advocate for bilingualism. In my work as a speech therapist and most research I read, I see a lot of benefits of bilingualism. The advice to raise your child monolingual instead of multilingual seems for the most part, a thing of the past. But are there circumstances in which raising your child bilingual is indeed not the way to go? In this blog I will try to tell you about precisely those circumstances, what kind of risks they form and the options you have.

Disclaimers:
Let me be clear: for a lot of children, bilingualism is not a choice but a necessity. When parents speak different languages, or they both speak a different language than their environment, it is natural that their children will grow up bilingual. Research and real life stories tell you that bilingualism is a natural state of being, and will not impair your child’s development in any way. Only using one language in this situation though, often greatly impairs the child’s abilities to connect with their family and culture. This is potentially more harmful in the long run, than any problems you started with. In this blog I mainly talk about situations in which both monolingual and bilingual are an option for the family.

In the situations I am writing about below, it CAN sometimes be better to stick to one language. This doesn’t mean it is always the best choice though. If you find yourself in one of the situations mentioned below, try to make a concrete language plan that suits your specific situation. This includes your wishes, expectations and the resources you have. Professionals that are experienced in bilingualism can help you with this plan and offer advice. It is important that you as parents are confident and agree with the plan. If it is not the case, this can lead to even bigger problems than you might have started with.

So here are the situations it can be good to (temporarily) raise your child monolingual

1. The language input is of bad quality:

When advising parents on bilingualism, we often tell them to stick with the language of their heart. This often means using your mother language, but actually means use the language you are most comfortable with, and speak fluently. So what does it mean to be fluent, and when is it good enough? When you want to raise your child in a language, you should be able to communicate with them about all things they experience and encounter in their lives. This entails a certain vocabulary, proper grammar and the ability to express feelings in the language. The level of language should also be of such a level that it is at least one step above the level of the child. For example: with a child of 1 year, sentences of about 3–4 words will get you a long way. With a teenager however, you need to be able to have an indepth conversation about complex subjects. It is important to note that fluency in speech overall, is more important than speaking 100% of one language at a time. If you don’t know a word in one language, it is okay to use the word in the other language. This is called code-switching and will not confuse your child.

The risks:
Children need to be immersed in a lot of quality input in their language(s) often. The risks of poor language input are imitation of bad grammar/words/etc, or even problems in language development. In my work I have seen children who didn’t get enough quality input in either of their languages, and trying to get these children back on track is very difficult.

Your options:

• Raising your child only in the fluent language (=monolingual).
• Raising your child mainly monolingual, but adding small things in the other language. This can be playing songs, using single words or e.g. counting. With this your child will not learn to communicate in the second language, but some parents will see it as “better than nothing” and able to connect to the culture.
• Raising your child in the fluent language, and get external help for the other language. This can mean at school, but also extra lessons or the structural use of family members or nannies.
• Making sure the quality of the target language is up to speed before you start. This can mean before your child is born, but also later.

2. Autism:

For a long time, people thought that children on the spectrum were better of monolingual than bilingual. However, recent studies show no negative impact of bilingualism on the development of children with autism. Some studies even found small positive impacts on several cognitive skills. Language problems are often seen with children on the spectrum, and will effect all languages that are involved. However, bilingualism is never the cause of this. So why is it in this list? The specific circumstances in which it might be better to raise your child monolingual, has to do with the reactions to changes a child on the spectrum can have.

The risks:
When you have a child on the spectrum, that is particularly sensitive to changes and routines, a shift in the languages used can trigger extreme reactions and stress. For children with autism these can lead to various other problems that lower the quality of life or hinder them in the relations with their environment. They could even get so stressed out that they stop communicating altogether and/or regress in their speech. Especially with introducing a second language later in life, the advise is to thread lightly.

Options:

• Stick with whatever language situation you have now. If you started bilingual, don’t change to monolingual. If you started out monolingual, don’t change this to bilingual.
• If for whatever reason it is really wanted or needed to change the language situation, do this very gradually. Make a plan that provides for a gradual increase (or decrease) of the language. You could start with playing songs, reading a book or a specific (short) time a day in which you introduce the new language. Look closely to the child’s reactions and adjust the plan when needed.

3. Developmental disorders:

As a speech therapist (SLP) specialised in children with developmental delays and disorders, this one is close to home. More than 60% of the children in my groups have multicultural backgrounds and are bilingual (or trilingual) and all of them have problems in their overal cognitive development and in their communicative development. There are little to no studies done on bilingualism and developmental disorders, except for Down’s syndrome with simultaneous bilingualism. These studies on Down’s syndrome show no negative effect on their development. This is good news, but there is still so much unknown about all the other syndromes, disabilities and about sequential bilingualism. Advice on this is yet to be evidence based because of this.

Risks:
So what are the potential risks of bilingualism for children with developmental disorders, other than Down’s syndrome? What I currently tell parents, is that it takes these children a lot of time and effort to learn any language. Some will be able to understand and speak a language, while others might not. Although a second language will not impact their abilities negatively, you are dividing your time between the two. For this reason, it can take longer for the child to learn to speak the language to a certain level. This is especially the case with a child that hears more than two languages, like 3 or four. Not being able to communicate often brings frustration and other problems along, which can hinder further development.

Options:

• If both (or all) languages are needed in the child’s life, go for it. As stated in the disclaimers, not being able to communicate with certain people is definitely worse. As most research is done on simultaneous bilingualism, my advice would be to start sooner, rather than later.
• Think about all your languages critically. In our own situation for example, we are two Dutch parents raising our child in the Netherlands. Adding English to the mix can be nice, but is definitely not necessary for her to interact in any way with the people and world around her.
• Lower your expectations. Children with developmental disorder have a hard time learning new things and almost always have problems in the language department. Be patient with your child and try to stimulate them as much as possible, but stay realistic. Talk to your health professional or a specialised SLP about what to expect and how to help your child in your specific situation. As not much is known and all situations and children are so distinctly different, views and advice can change along the way. Stay true to what you believe is best, but also accept help and guidance from others.

4. Lack of motivation:

This last one is fairly simple. As a parent, it can sometimes feel like you are bombarded with opinions, research and advice from others about bilingualism. Whether is be positive or negative, it can feel overwhelming. Surely there are many benefits to being bilingual, but it doesn’t mean you HAVE to raise your child bilingual. No matter your own (language) background, YOU as a parent will have to decide on how to raise YOUR child.

The risks:
As stated in the disclaimers above, it is very important to agree with the language choices that are made. Whether this means raising your child monolingual or bilingual, this doesn’t matter. I have seen situations in which parents followed a plan they didn’t really believe in. At first it’s fine, but as time goes by problems will arise. This can be in the form of regret and resentment, towards themselves or others. It can even result in a delayed or poor language development in the child due to suboptimal language input.

Options:

Hopefully I have been able to shed some light on the four different reasons why not to raise your child bilingual. No matter what situation you are in or what you decide, remember that the choice is yours to make. Professionals and others can give advice, but ultimately it is up to you!

I’d like to know your thoughts and questions about this, feel free to let me know!
Thank you for reading this post and stay tuned for more!

Originally published at https://intentionallybilingual.weebly.com.